Conversations With An Introvert: Looking Beyond Assumptions.
When I saw this doodle, it felt like someone took a picture of me in most situations. Do you have that friend who is usually quiet in a gathering, prefers solitude, and may sound like “sorry I went off, I wanted to recharge a bit?” You probably rolled your eyes because, “What is his/her deal exactly?”
Introversion is one of the major personality traits identified in many theories of personality. Extroversion is the other end of the scale. An article stated how introverts make up 25–40% of the population so it’s not entirely weird as most of us have been made to think. Also according to some estimates, extroverts outnumber introverts by about three to one.
The term introvert was popularized by a Psychologist named Carl Jung in the ’20s. He believed introversion and extroversion to be, “The building blocks of personality”. As much as I would like to go on about history for some perspective, I suppose that is a story for another day. It is also important to note that these ‘blocks’ are mostly the extremes of a spectrum as there are variations in personalities (which makes a lot of sense seeing as every individual is unique).
Personally, learning more about my personality has been a “scary” but welcome journey. Growing up I can’t count the number of times I was told by well-meaning adults and even friends to “come of it”( for some reason I can’t say this without thinking of Tao on Instagram), “speak more “ or “stop acting dull”. Of course, they all had good intentions but from a place of ignorance. I have come to see value in “looking inward is a virtue, not a problem” as Susan Cain, an introvert and author once said.
“You should overcome this because it’s a problem.”
Introverts may often find that other people try to change them or even suggest that there is something “wrong” with them. Of course, nothing could be further from the truth. The introverts enjoy mulling things as they find it stimulating and energizing.
“I know your problem, you’re just shy.”
Shy. Introvert. Both are not synonyms. It’s true a person could be shy and also be an introvert, but that is not the rule. Shyness is more of fear of social encounter or judgment while introversion is more about the response to all, including social stimulation.
“Maybe you’re just angry or depressed.”
No introverts are not an angry lot. They do love solitude (i suppose everyone does at some point, but it’s almost a necessity for this personality type) and interestingly are more productive even when it seems there’s nothing to do. most of the time what appears to be them going off isn’t a result of being mad at you or depression.
“Do you even have fun?”
This assumption is a personal favourite.Fun is subjective and it’s a good thing to know I’m not alone in the homebody clan. Some folks would find staying home and enjoying a midnight snack fun instead of being at a party and that is okay. As Meredith Whitten wrote in “All About Shyness,” introverts prefer solitary to social activities.
“You don’t like people”
I don’t know, for the life of me, how less engagement means you don’t like others. Of course, introverts love people. I do admit to being exhausted at the thought of picking up phone calls but that’s not because I hate people.
We owe it to ourselves to move beyond assumptions because it would help us be gracious and empathetic. There is beauty in the diversity of God’s image-bearers. Instead of putting others down, both introverts and extroverts should strive to understand their differences and similarities and enjoy it.
